"The Einstein Equation"

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She was beautiful. They're always beautiful in stories, aren't they? But she really was, but then... Holy Crap! I stared wide-eyed, jaw dropping at the most beautiful woman in the world slowly transforming into a monster. How the hell did I get a case like this one? As a Private Detective I'm not the greatest of successes, but when I get a case; I'm in it to win it! You won't believe this, but I graduated from Cal Tech. Sounds fancy, doesn't it? Or scary if you're not into high tech things. I was. Trouble is, I got stuck short of funds my last year. I was burning with desire to sink my teeth into that luscious baby of a degree. It meant fame and fortune to me. But maybe more realistically, a paycheck. Then my mentor came to me, "How would you like to get an automatic degree?" I should never have replied. Next thing I knew I was being hustled into a top secret, hush hush lab with huge machines quivering with raw energy. And then strapped into a cannon. That's right! Damned cannon! I've never been the same since. Who would be after they've been shot across the universe? They called it the Einstein Equation. I called it the beginning of my career of chasing monsters from other dimensions. Lucky me!