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After stealing one of the best meat pies he’s ever eaten, and returning a small lost boy home, The Pan of Hamgee should feel smug. But somehow all these things do is make him miss his own family more. In a moment of very poor judgement, he decides to end it all. But The Pan should know by now that few things he plans ever turn out the way he expects. 17k short story, cinema rating U. This is a bit of a mash up, in that it's humorous urban fantasy, set in a technologically advanced parallel reality. Sign up to download your copy of Night Swimming and join the M T McGuire Reader's Group. As a member you'll receive updates, exclusive excerpts, competitions, community (and more). I will never spam you, your details will be kept totally confidential and you can unsubscribe whenever you like - indeed, there will be a link to do so in every email I send ... sometimes two links (because I like to belt and brace).