"Bagpipes Around Haggis Mountain"

Available in EPUB, MOBI, and PDF formats. Read on your Kindle, phone, tablet, computer and more

I’ll admit it: with Bagpipes Around Haggis Mountain, I went completely overboard. Not just a little. Not just “one too many Germans with binoculars.” No — I launched myself off the cliff of Highland absurdity and kept tumbling until I landed somewhere between BBC Scotland, a cryptid arms race, and a G7 emergency summit about haggis. This book started as a gentle joke about tourists and folklore. Then social media got involved — as it always does — and suddenly a throwaway remark about haggis leg asymmetry became a global incident. I wanted to poke fun at how a harmless April Fool’s segment can mutate into international “evidence,” how a bagpipe practice session can be mislabelled as a mating call, and how the internet can turn absolutely anything into a geopolitical event if you give it twelve hours and a hashtag. If you’re looking for subtlety, restraint, or sensible behaviour, this is not the book. This is the one where I let the chaos run wild. Germans arrive with diagrams. Americans arrive with conspiracy theories. The French arrive with scarves and existential commentary. And poor Old Scott MacRae becomes the most misunderstood piper in European history. I wrote it to make myself laugh — and I did, repeatedly — but I also wrote it as a jab at the strange modern reality where misinformation spreads faster than sheep on a hillside and where the world can collectively lose its mind over absolutely anything. If you enjoy humour that escalates until it becomes a diplomatic problem, this one’s for you. If not, I apologise in advance to your blood pressure.